Part of living in a small Samarian village is the requirement to do shmirá, or guard duty, from time to time, usually on a monthly basis. It used to mean sitting in a bútka, a small guard booth, and controlling an electric fence that would have to be opened when vehicles were to enter or exit the village. The village secretariat hired a company that provides folks to sit in the bútka, so now the shmirá consists of riding around in a truck for three hours at the choicest hours of the day (23:00. to 05:00) making sure that all is well in the village, and the security fence around it has not been breached.

I go armed, as does the other fellow in the truck, both of us with M16's. The M16 has a "banana" clip with 30 bullets and we carry two such clips per rifle. In all the time I've done shmirá while living in Ma'alé Levoná, I have never fired the rifle once, and never had to - except in training how to use it. Once, an Arab came to the gate of the village. He was lost, and wanted directions to get to Sínjel, an Arab town at the foot of the small mountain that is Ma'alé Levoná. He stopped his car and stood outside the gate and explained what he wanted, and I gave him directions to get to his destination, a wedding, and wished him a pleasant evening.

Apparently the fellow in charge of security of the village decided (or was told) that we needed to go through target practice again with the M16's. On 24 March, we were to appear at a shooting range in a neighboring village at 13:30 and spend the afternoon, practicing taking the weapon apart, cocking the weapon, shooting prone, kneeling and standing up, and in the dark. I got a ride with a couple of neighbors and were on the way when the fellow in charge of security called me up on my cell-phone and told me that the target practice had been canceled. It was kind of obvious why - the weather was rainy and while it may occur that I may have to use my rifle in the pouring rain, the IDF doesn't like to train folks in the mud. It just ain't fun. We're not soldiers and they have a limited amount of authority over us. We cannot be ordered to lay in the mud and try to hit a target like one of their combat soldiers can be.

The next day we got a note in the mail telling us to appear at the same place at the same hour of the day (13:30) on 31 March - today.

So it was that I was at the exit of the village waiting at 12:50 for my neighbors to come along and drive to this neighboring village. We got to the firing range and parked the car. It was about 13:20 - we were the first ones there. After about 15 minutes of waiting, it appeared that nobody from the village was there. One of my neighbors called the head of security in Ma'alé Levoná asking him if we had the right date. We sure did - we knew that. I had the note right in front of me. What we didn't know was that the time had been changed to 15:00. Nobody had bothered to call us and let us know. This is common to the culture here. There were no apologies, no nothing - just a flat statement that the time had been changed to 15:00 - only after we called.

We went to the local grocery shop to find something to eat. We bought some strawberry yogurt that we drank from the container. I had forgotten to buy water, the grocery store closed just as we left, and the local restaurant (a falafel/shwarma bar) had no bottled water to sell. So we had to be satisfied with the yogurt. These are some of the joys of living in small villages....

We drove back to the target range. It was about 14:50. We sat waiting - and waiting and waiting. Finally, we saw the security truck of the head of security of the village. He called us over to a corner near his truck and took out an M16. He asked if we knew how to use one. We all nodded. I added that as a police volunteer, I was familiar with the M1 Carbine, which is used by the Israel Police in its Civil Guard units. Truth is, I am a whole lot more familiar with the M1 than with the M16. I use it almost every Sunday and am familiar with its workings. I barely carry the M16 at all, Usually, it sits in the truck next to me while I try to stay awake in the wee hours of the morning. But I'll tell you that, not the head of security of the village....

It's a bit easier to cock the M16 than it is to cock the M1. But both operate on the same principle. As semi-automatic assault rifles, they need be cocked only once and then you can fire all the bullets in the clip without cocking again. When the gun is on its semi-automatic setting, you can effectively fire once a second or so, emptying an M16's banana clip in a little over 35 seconds, and emptying the 15 or 16 bullets in the M1s clip in about 18 seconds. The effects on a person or group of people charging at you can be devastating - if you hit them, of course! I guess that's the point of a semi-automatic.

The head of security went over checking the weapon to see if it is empty, over how to open and close the safety, and over the fact that when a clip is out of bullets, the dust jacket of the gun flies open, something you can see on the right side of the barrel, and that is your clue to slip in another clip of bullets; no need to cock the gun again - just keep firing. He did all this in Hebrew, and all three of us native English speakers had to concentrate on what he was saying to make sure we understood. When we were alone, I asked him why he didn't tell any of us about the changed time for the target practice. He said that he found out about it late at night. It was a lame excuse - he knew that as well as I did, but I let it go.

As the afternoon wore on to early evening, a larger and larger group of guys had gathered for target practice under the loose instruction of a soldier. By 16:50, the only thing that had occurred was that we had all prayed the afternoon prayer, minHá.

Finally, around 17:00, the soldier boy had us gather round for his instructions. In machine gun Hebrew, he gave the standard drill - bring the weapon to the target line, make sure it faces the target at all times, except when instructed to hold it at a 60 degree angle facing the sky. Do not face the weapon either to the right or to the left, only at the target. Do not fire the weapon unless instructed to do so. We were to fire the weapon prone, kneeling and standing, using a half filled clip of 15 bullets. He explained how to cock the rifle, how to clear the rifle if a bullet jammed (a common problem with American weapons, particularly M16's), etc., etc, etc. Fortunately, I know the drill and did not need to understand this kid as he rattled off what he said. But, I was glad I was not a recruit in the IDF, something one of my sons will be soon.

By 17:30, they still were only starting the target practice. As much as I complain about the slowness of the Israel Police target practice sessions, these guys made the Israel Police, a bunch of Keystone Kops if ever there was one, look organized and efficient.

Eventually, the head of security returned to give us few guys from Ma'alé Levoná some more private instruction on how to stand with the rifle pressed against the shoulder and against the cheek, how to shoot while kneeling (when you are 58 and your knees are not in the best of shape, that can be a problem) and how to lay prone and fire.

The way the IDF was training us - laying prone first, then kneeling, and then standing, meant we would have to put the safety on the rifle while we moved from one position to another because we would not have full control over the rifle. It could go off accidentally and kill someone at the target range. The way the Israel Police had trained me, we were to start standing, and then kneel, advancing all the time with the rifle facing the target. The safety never went on, and at any second we needed to, we could open fire or continue firing if we had already been firing.

But, I would do what the IDF wanted me to do - I was on their turf now. We got absolutely no practice handling the gun, no drill, no rote, no nothing. These are all necessary to feel the gun "warm in your hands", so to speak, so that it is part of you and you are part of it.

I finally got to the firing line (sometime after 18:00), loaded the fifteen bullet clip into the weapon, and cocked it - and then got down on the ground to fire prone. The gun jammed. As instructed, I set the gun down and raised my hand. The soldier boy came over and unjammed the gun, criticizing the way I had cocked it. If this had been a real battle, I would have been dead already.

I fired the five bullets prone, then put on the safety, got up on my knees, fired five bullets kneeling, again put on the safety, and then fired five bullets standing up. After unloading the weapon and checking it so that no bullets remained I went to the target I'd been firing at. I didn't do so hot, and frankly could have used another shot at firing at a target. But there was neither time nor money for that. I'd have to be satisfied with the results I had gotten.

There was more time wasted as we waited to do the night-time shoot, the only realistic part of this whole exercise. Of course, for this we were only given clips with five bullets. Just as we were about to start, someone shouted "arvít!", indicating that we should pray the evening prayer. But by now it was an issue of whether the village ordinance forbidding target practice after 20:00 or G-d would win out, and not surprisingly, the village ordinance won out; G-d would have to wait for prayer from His chosen people until after they got home.

So we shot five bullets, ejected the clips, checked the gun for bullets and returned the weapons. I'm damned glad I'm home. And after this frustrating and time wasting day, I even got a bit of good news!

According to Arutz Sheva, the Tavór, a native made assault rife, got excellent grades as a weapon and will eventually fully replace the M16 used here - including the ones the guard patrols in the villages in Israel use. If the Tavór jams, I can only blame myself - not the Americans.